The Joy Of Gym Showers

So I have a whole new respect for those people who work out at a gym, shower and then head to work. I recently had the displeasure of experiencing this life altering encounter when I started swimming for the triathlon that I am participating in- in a few weeks. My painstaking preparation the night before should have been a harbinger of things to come.  After packing four bags for the gym, I was physically and mentally exhausted.

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My regular gym bag was filled with my work clothes, work shoes and assorted gym paraphernalia. Being a very low maintenance girl, I packed minimal clothing to get me through the work day- no jewelry, no accessories. My swim bag was stuffed with two towels, one for after the pool and one for after the shower. That bag also contained various Ziploc bags so that I would be super organized after my swim; one bag for my goggles and swim cap; one bag for my make-up; one bag for my face moisturizer and deodorant and one bag clearly marked, “shower flip-flops.” Another small bag contained a shirt and shorts to wear after the shower and plastic bags to put my wet towels and bathing suit. I also had my pocketbook. Low maintenance still requires a great deal of work.

Stuffing my bags into a narrow locker, I broke a fingernail and scraped two knuckles. I don’t need a locker- I need a cabana. Why don’t they have cabanas here? How about at least a double locker for all my crap? I can’t be the only one who feels this way. What’s going to happen in the winter. How the heck will I get my winter coat and snow boots into this puny locker?

The one mile swim went well and once out of the pool, I felt relieved and confident. Other then the chlorine stinging my bloody knuckles, I felt elated. Until the shower…..

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I’m very laid back when it comes to most things. I love camping. Okay, I’ve only been camping once…….on the grounds of a mansion……for one night. It was a fundraiser. But that’s beside the point. I would go camping again. I just haven’t had the opportunity. Really.

Low monthly fee should not mean low standards. A reasonably priced gym does not mean that I should be subjected to sub-humane showering facilities. When I say that the shower curtain was moldy, I am being kind. When I say that the cracked tile was prevalent, I am not exaggerating. When I say that it was one of the filthiest places I’ve ever showered, I am being generous.

Hesitantly, I hang my towel on the hook outside the shower curtain but still inside my shower stall. I line up my all-in-one body wash/shampoo bottle and my conditioner on the slanted bench underneath my hanging towel. I quickly turn on the water. After I say a thankful prayer that the water is hot, I lather up like I’m anticipating a fire drill. I hurriedly take the rubber band out of my hair and there it goes. The hair band springs out of my hand, onto the dirty, cracked tile floor. I can’t help but stare as it circles the drain. Oh well, I rationalize that there is a reason that hair bands are sold 10 in a pack at the Dollar Store.

As I put the body wash/shampoo bottle down on the slanted shelf, by accident, my right arm swipes the moldy shower curtain. I let out a shrill as if giant cockroaches have just been let loose on me.  With one eye watching the sliding conditioner bottle, I quickly rewash the part of my arm that graced the shower curtain.  I thanked the powers that be that I was wearing my shower flip flops.  As I grab the conditioner bottle, the body wash/shampoo bottle falls on the putrid floor and yes, my knee brushed against the shower curtain.  I shrieked again, quickly washed off my knee and the body wash/shampoo bottle and seriously thought about throwing away these shower flip flops after this experience. After all, they were a bargain at the Dollar Store.  No, I can’t buy new shower flip flops every time I shower at the gym. They’re not disposable. Now there’s an idea. Disposable shower flip flops- 10 in a pack. I may be onto something. Thank goodness I made sure to label the shower flip flop bag.

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As I quickly conditioned my hair, I realized that if they sell shower curtains at the Dollar Store, I’ll buy one and bring my own shower curtain tomorrow.  The amount of time I am spending trying to evade the shower curtain is ridiculous. I’m like a contortionist, trying to catch the sliding body wash/shampoo and conditioner bottles while playing keep away with the moldy shower curtain. It’s a very special dance that I’m doing here.

With the shower experience taking much longer than anticipated, I had little time to blow dry my hair, put-on minimal makeup and get dressed.  In my shorts, shirt and shower flip flops, I quickly blew dry my hair. In my haste, the little clip in my hair, flew into the air and bounced along the bathroom floor. In slow motion, I watched the hair clip roll into a puddle of water that originated from a nondescript brown stain on the ceiling, just slightly above me. Ugh- back to the Dollar Store.

All dressed, I changed into my work shoes and stuffed my shower flip flops into their plastic bag. I then tossed my hair brush, body wash/shampoo and conditioner into the last plastic bag. I sealed the bag shut and as I turned it over to put into my gym bag, I saw it. In clearly marked letters were the words I wrote last night, “shower flip flops.” Back to the Dollar Store….

 

 

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5 thoughts on “The Joy Of Gym Showers

  1. This was so funny! I’ve avoided my gym shower for all these reasons. Too much to pack, mold, extra shower only flip flops, etc. They redid the bathrooms about six months ago and they already look scary. You are a brave woman!

    • Thank you so much for reading and for your support!It is really that gross- I am not exaggerating! I only started showering at the gym to swim when I was training for the triathlon. I am swimming tomorrow. Ugh. The sacrifices we make! You are a smart woman!

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